On a hardwood end table next to my favorite but empty black coffee mug,

a disgraceful ring left by a guest at the Jesuit retreat house

distracted me

From the painting of Mary praying on a bare wall next to thousands of books written by people

trying to help people like me escape from the deadly circle of me and mine.

I was reminded Ignatius of Loyola found his way out

when he was just an ex-soldier giving his Spiritual Exercises,

forming a new order and transforming disordered lives.

And so I sat . . . staring . . . at the marring wound.

Up on the wall Mary kept praying, noticing I had no coffee.

As my gaze turned up to her,

I realized she knew how to help and who could help.

Something lifted me to my feet,

maybe it was the missing coffee,

in any case . . .

I no longer felt like a careless mark on an end table.

As I stepped out into the hallway,

following the men silently heading for the Chapel

Mary implored —

“Do whatever he tells you.”